Almost Failing

When I applied for a boot camp program and got accepted, I was incredibly excited. However, as I began doing the work and "learning," I found myself engaging in self-sabotage. I continually told myself that I didn't know anything and could never effectively apply the information I was acquiring. In an attempt to overcome this, I explored other coding platforms, enrolled in free courses, and sought help from various sources. Despite my efforts, I continued to undermine my own progress. I even resorted to dishonesty with those around me, driven by my fear of failing in my educational pursuits. I had grown weary of feeling like a constant disappointment.

Nonetheless, the advice I received was clear: I needed to change my thought patterns. At first, this seemed like a redundant suggestion, as altering one's thinking isn't a quick, snap-of-the-fingers process. It requires consistent practice. It involves refraining from the futile attempt to memorize everything, a habit I had once clung to. Let me emphasize, that it's a strategy that ultimately leads to failure.

Here's what I do now: When I'm learning about any topic, I absorb the information and actively search for relevant exercises to practice. While some may suggest starting projects, it's crucial to acknowledge that you can't construct something substantial without all the necessary components. Through dedicated learning and practice, you will naturally begin to build your knowledge. However, it's vital to maintain confidence in your understanding, as I once thought I had grasped a concept, only to find myself struggling when faced with a different problem.

Now, I'm starting afresh, incorporating all the advice I've acquired. I'm determined to stop sabotaging my progress and to engage with others who possess greater expertise. It's perfectly acceptable to seek assistance, and there's no shame in others surpassing your knowledge, as they become valuable resources on your learning journey. Moreover, don't fixate on those who progress faster than you do; everyone has their unique pace. Celebrate those who succeed, and most importantly, celebrate yourself for your hard work and your willingness to step out of your comfort zone.

Remember, everything will be okay. And in moments of failure, recall this quote by Malcolm X: "Children have a lesson adults should learn, to not be ashamed of failing, but to get up and try again. Most of us adults are so afraid, so cautious, so 'safe,' and therefore so shrinking and rigid and afraid that it is why so many humans fail. Most middle-aged adults have resigned themselves to failure."